Everyone had heard of therapy, read about it, seen it on sitcoms, The Sopranos, youtube, and read articles in newspapers and magazines. Yet, until you're in therapy with a psychotherapist, you really don't know what it's really about and what happens. (To add to the question, just because you've been in therapy doesn't mean that your next psychotherapist works the same way. Confusion reigns.)

     Imagine if I were to ask you to describe the taste of chocolate or salt. You probably couldn't find enough words to do it justice You'd end up saying, you have to taste it to know it.

     Psychotherapy is a "talking cure" to borrow from Freud, and in of itself this is quite a powerful method of healing. Participating in the process raises your consciousness and you become more proactive in your life.

     In general it would be fair to say that psychotherapy provides a forum in which a person can sift through the debris of his or her symptoms and pain, gain clarity and relief, and experience emotional growth and healing. One of the most challenging aspects of therapy is the "MIRROR EFFECT," the relationship between the psychotherapist and client. You can't observe yourself in solitary confinement. In order to face what really hurts and heal from it, it's essential to have a professional witness to one's life, the crimes that were committed against them from others as well as from themselves. The therapist becomes the mirror that allows the patient to view him or herself with clarity and compassion, where their fear is contained in the relationship. Honesty and courage step front and center. Depending on the duration of the symptoms and pain, Psychotherapy usually takes more than just a few sessions.

     If the pain is the result of a single incident trauma, such as an accident, an illness, a career crisis, or the like, then it is often possible to accomplish a great deal in a brief period of time. Let me give you an example.

     A 25 year old woman came to me a while back who said she hadn't slept in years. I asked her how many years, and she'd said since whe was sixteen. I asked what had happened when she was sixteen. She'd said that her brother's best friend had raped her and that she'd never told anyone about it until now when she told me. We talked about this for a couple of sessions, used EMDR, the Trauma Method that involves eye movement, and soon after she called to tell me that a miracle had happened. She slept. We ended therapy after three sessions.

     Most of the time, problems are connected to our development in our families of origin or with our current relationships, where it takes a little longer to come to similarly successful results. We start and talk, I don't have a magic bullet, I don't give solutions, yet we discover them together as we move one brick at a time from your psychic back. Eventually, self-awareness and insight reaches a higher level and old dysfunctional behavior and beliefs are distabilized, you learn new coping skills, develop goals, create solutions, overcome obstacles that are in the way of leading a happy, contented life.

     The most important factor is to find a therapist that you resonate with. It's a relationship just like any other, and the connection you have with your therapist needs to be one where you feel comfortable and safe. Then, the crucible of your relationship becomes the context in which healing happens.

All the best,
Dr. Rita

     I don't know of anyone who hasn't at some point in their life experienced at least one heavy-duty trauma. More often, we all experience a variety of small and LARGE traumas throughout our lives. This is the human condition. It's kind of nice to know, that the body's elegant condition is to help us cope with all sorts of trauma. The small traumas are easily integrated by our physiology, whereas the larger ones may need a little extra help.

     One time I skidded on the Cross Island Expressway at 10pm on a weeknight, and 360'd about three times, landing on the shoulder unharmed, but green with vertigo and palpitating anxiety. During the few seconds that I was out of control, I literally saw my life pass through my mind, and 'knew' this was the end of my life. Thankfully it wasn't. I sat trembling for a few minutes as my heartbeat slowed, and my mind integrated the happy fact that there had been no traffic and I was safe. Soon, I literally shook off my fear, put the car in gear, and continued on my way home where I slept a deep and grateful sleep, never again to be troubled by that incident.

     With no warning, my nervous system had been activated by the mishap, and because it was such a little trauma, and I survived it so well, my mind tucked that memory in a file called, no-big-deal-but-not-forgotten.

     We all have those kinds of files and folders and most of the time they just lie low. But then there are the BIGGER traumas. One of my patients, Joan, experienced a childhood where her drunken mother was often out of control, negligent, and usually absent as she passed out on the kitchen floor or in front of the TV. The cluster of events in Joan's folder called, mom-the-drunk was thick and ugly, and included hundreds of events when Joan felt frightened, alone, unsafe, unloved and forgotten. The heft and weight of this folder of trauma, though not life-threatening in the usual sense, dragged Joan down into her adult life, where she continued to feel uncared for, and continually attracted men who were irresponsible and unavailable to her, just like her mother had been.

     Joan's nervous system was always set to high-alert, ready to deal with emergencies at the cry of another, but incapable of settling down or relaxing into a calm or happy experience or relationship.

     Richard, on the other hand, was one of the few survivors of 9/11. He had had the sense to run down the stairs after the first plane hit the first tower, taking with him a couple of dozen co-workers from the 12th floor. His leadership skills saved many lives that black Tuesday, including his own. This was an EXTRA LARGE trauma, which though he survived, was filed under, I-should-have-saved-more-lives-why-did-I-live-while-others-died.

     Richards's nervous system was consistently set to low, to depression, guilt and a sense of hopelessness about the meaning of life.  There is a yidish word, CHESHEK, which roughly translated means desire with soul. Well, Richard's soul was on empty after 9/11 even though he should have been living with the pride of a hero.

     Trauma Therapy which addresses the body and the mind has helped people like Joan and Richard to fill the holes of the disconnections they suffered. In my office I have had the honor to assist, as in childbirth, in making those miracles happen.

All the best,

Dr. Rita

     As an expert in EMDR Trauma Therapy for over 13 years, a practicing psychotherapist for nearly 30 years, with the experience of more than 2,000 EMDR hours, I would like to suggest that EMDR is not really a cookie cutter approach. In the hands of the right therapist it is a creative, personal therpeutic model that has the capacity to yield impressive healing results.

     Every therapist brings their own special personal touch to their work based on their years of experience, as well as their general level of expertise in the healing arts. The most important thing to keep in mind, as with every other type of therapy, is that the RELATIONSHIP, between therapist and patient becomes the safe container that allows healing and change to begin.

     When trauma happens it interrupts the life force, and creates a log jam in the flow of life within the individual. We are designed, as are all other mammals, to flow within the river of our nervous system, our energy, with the excitement of the sympathetic nervous system, and the calming of the parasympathetic nervous system, balancing us out. The nervous system is located in the Brain Stem in the primitive part of our brain, called the Reptilian Brain. We are hard-wired to heal from stress and trauma because of the gentle waves that oscillate between the charge and discharge of the nervous system. This is no different than the basic wound healing trajectory that is triggered from even a simple wound on the skin, when phases of hemostasis and inflammation begin the complex process of tissue repair.

     EMDR and other mind/body therapy models such as Somatic Experiencing (SE,) Brainspotting, and Hypnosis are powerful experiential opportunities – in the hands of the creative clinician, to repair the rupture caused by BIG and little traumas. The language of sensation, body awareness and emotion lies at the root of these processes.

     Often people have difficult problems and issues that seem to have dug into their personality or character structure, and taken up unwelcome residence causing great unhappiness in their lives. Sometimes, these problems don’t at first seem to be associated with a trauma. I find that during my work with patients we open the possibilities for the body to communicate, and the gateway usually leads to remarkable shifts often related to early trauma. Let me give you an example – be aware that I’m changing some of the details to protect the anonymity of my patient.

        Jeff is depressed, yet a successful lawyer, handsome, charming and bright. His relationships with women, however, typically ends in disaster when they repeatedly reject him for his violent temper tantrums. After losing the love of his life recently, Jeff sought me out for treatment. He had heard of EMDR, wasn’t sure if it was the appropriate therapy for him, but hoped we’d figure it out. We utilized a combination of EMDR, SE and Hypnosis during our third session. I usually take at least one or two sessions to make certain that the chemistry between us is right, and to pinpoint patterns and triggers. During the next few weeks Jeff spontaneously connect ed to a trauma that occurred when he was fifteen, when his all star hockey game was interrupted by a fall that fractured his left ankle. Surprisingly, this accident was highly charged for Jeff, and left in its trail a lifetime of bravado that covered his shame, a sense of failure, and an acute sensitivity to rejection. We were soon on our way to clear that trauma and replace it with positive felt body experiences that led to a large shift in Jeff’s sense of himself as a man. Naturally, this led to a diminishment of his rage and depression,, and positive changes in all of his relationships.

All the best,
Rita