Everyone had heard of therapy, read about it, seen it on sitcoms, The Sopranos, youtube, and read articles in newspapers and magazines. Yet, until you're in therapy with a psychotherapist, you really don't know what it's really about and what happens. (To add to the question, just because you've been in therapy doesn't mean that your next psychotherapist works the same way. Confusion reigns.)

     Imagine if I were to ask you to describe the taste of chocolate or salt. You probably couldn't find enough words to do it justice You'd end up saying, you have to taste it to know it.

     Psychotherapy is a "talking cure" to borrow from Freud, and in of itself this is quite a powerful method of healing. Participating in the process raises your consciousness and you become more proactive in your life.

     In general it would be fair to say that psychotherapy provides a forum in which a person can sift through the debris of his or her symptoms and pain, gain clarity and relief, and experience emotional growth and healing. One of the most challenging aspects of therapy is the "MIRROR EFFECT," the relationship between the psychotherapist and client. You can't observe yourself in solitary confinement. In order to face what really hurts and heal from it, it's essential to have a professional witness to one's life, the crimes that were committed against them from others as well as from themselves. The therapist becomes the mirror that allows the patient to view him or herself with clarity and compassion, where their fear is contained in the relationship. Honesty and courage step front and center. Depending on the duration of the symptoms and pain, Psychotherapy usually takes more than just a few sessions.

     If the pain is the result of a single incident trauma, such as an accident, an illness, a career crisis, or the like, then it is often possible to accomplish a great deal in a brief period of time. Let me give you an example.

     A 25 year old woman came to me a while back who said she hadn't slept in years. I asked her how many years, and she'd said since whe was sixteen. I asked what had happened when she was sixteen. She'd said that her brother's best friend had raped her and that she'd never told anyone about it until now when she told me. We talked about this for a couple of sessions, used EMDR, the Trauma Method that involves eye movement, and soon after she called to tell me that a miracle had happened. She slept. We ended therapy after three sessions.

     Most of the time, problems are connected to our development in our families of origin or with our current relationships, where it takes a little longer to come to similarly successful results. We start and talk, I don't have a magic bullet, I don't give solutions, yet we discover them together as we move one brick at a time from your psychic back. Eventually, self-awareness and insight reaches a higher level and old dysfunctional behavior and beliefs are distabilized, you learn new coping skills, develop goals, create solutions, overcome obstacles that are in the way of leading a happy, contented life.

     The most important factor is to find a therapist that you resonate with. It's a relationship just like any other, and the connection you have with your therapist needs to be one where you feel comfortable and safe. Then, the crucible of your relationship becomes the context in which healing happens.

All the best,
Dr. Rita