In much the same way your feelings are pure data, and are based on your perception of either external or internal stimuli.  Information - no more, no less, that once presented to you can be used to make intelligent choices.  For example, walking on a quiet country lane a ferocious-looking dog barked loudly a few hundred feet ahead of me and my immediate response was to feel fear.  It so happens that my son was once bitten by a German Shepherd, and I have a particular distrust of large, loud canines sinced then.  The fear was my data which was based on my perception that I was in danger. This information could then be utilized to make choices such as, walking the other way. 
      The emotion I perceived, the fear, was a useful piece of information for me. It was neither  good nor bad, just data that assisted me in making sense out of my environment. The first order of business was to identify my internal experience. By giving my feeling a label, fear, I was then enabled to understand my physiological reaction (the "fight or flight" response which usually manifests with dry mouth, speeding heartbeat and the desire to fight or run away. This led to my ability to connect to a previous experience (the memory from my son's childhood), and once reached I could make sense of the situation I was in (the dog could harm me,) and was subsequently aware of what action steps were available to me (I could walk the other way or pick up a stick to fight if necessary,) which then allowed me to make my choice (which was to quickly walk away.)

     In order to make sense of one's feelings it first essential to know what they are, and most of us come out of family environments  devoid of that skill. But hope springs eternal. It can be learned.    

    The following is a partial catalogue of feelings and emotions to help you identify and accept yours. Many years ago Dr. Vernon Sharpe shared a form of this list with me, and I would like to share it with you.

ANGER: "fly off the handle," seething, furious, boiling, burned up, bitter, enraged, infuriated, sore, fuming, flaming, fiery, fierce, ticked off, pissed off, volcanic, "hot under the collar," bored
HOSTILE: hateful,destructive, ugly, wicked, repugnant,mean, deceitful, spiteful, antagonistic, terrible, bad, cruel, horrible, sneaky

GUILTY: worthless, crappie, blame yourself, defensive, censurable, blameworthy, derelict, culpable,
down on yourself, at fault

PANICKED: overwhelmed, petrified, precarious, frantic, distraught, hysterical, agitated,  fearful, terrified, frightened, startled, in a tizzy, shook up, out of my mind, distressed,
out of contact, shocked, numb, trembling, gone haywire, nuts, out of it, shrinking, shuddering stampeded

WITHDRAWN: isolated, want to crawl in a hole, aloof, distant, solitary, bashful, wanna run away, unsociable, detached, wanna sulk, bored, wanna split,want to pout, want to disappear, reclusive

ANXIOUS: scared, worried, nervous, frightened, tense, obsessed, panicky, pressured, vulnerable, helpless, apprehensive, hopeless, bored, stewing, prying on your mind, unstrung.

     Isn't it amazing how many types of feelings exist? Be on the lookout for yours, and just label one when it hits you over the head with a two-by-four. This is the second step. Lesson #3 is soon to follow.

All the best,

Dr. Rita