Most of us have to make daily decisions that take us on one path or another, and unless we are incredibly helpless and lack a huge sense of who we are, we muddle through. Some of the decisions we regularly make without too much difficulty are: what to eat, what to wear, how to speak about an issue to someone, when to stop or start a project, what to buy and save, and so forth. 

     Apart from daily decisions we also occasionally throughout our lifetime have to make quality of life decisions that put us on a new track from the one we had been on. These are more difficult because they are momentous and impact our life in ways we cannot usually predict, such as: whether and whom to marry, which job to take, when to retire, where to live, and so forth.

     The two parts of our elegant brain that are responsible for decision-making are the right/emotional brain and the left/cognitive brain. Being decisive is not only about rational choices, but includes the emotional intuitive ones that are often under the surface.

     I always like to make pro and con lists when a difficult quality of life decision needs to be made. I find the process illuminating, and it harnesses my anxiety about living with uncertainty, although it usually doesn't bring my sense of uncertainty to a comfortable closure. Have you noticed how uncomfortable we are with uncertainty? I think that the more comfortable you can learn to be with not knowing, the more risk you take, and the more excitement and interesting twists and turns will your life be able to take. It's always less worrysome to stay in place, and keep doing the same thing. That's why change is both so stressful and yet so life-enhancing.

     Somewhere I trust my gut, for you it may be your heart, which is actualy our right brain, to get in on the process and make a behind-the-scene calibration which manifests itself quite miraculously, after days or weeks of torturous indecision, with a light-bulb-clarity of, "oh of course, this makes so much sense, I'll go with that.

     Isn't it amazing how once that occurs, we have this 20/20 hindsight that proves we made the right decision, and ultimately we are glad we took advantage of our capacity to make a change because our life is enriched by change. One of our basic needs is to have excitement in our lives, and change provides that in a healthy way.

     So the next time I have to make a difficult decision I hope I remember to give myself the time it takes for my beautiful brain to weigh and measure all the data I've provided and then open the curtain to certainty with a ta-da!

All the best,

Dr. Rita